Ravished

Ravished

Ivory Herman

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I don’t understand

Everything in my head went blank

When he finally was finished, I couldn’t look him in the eye

I couldn’t hear myself

Tear-stained and blood boiling

No one can prepare you for this moment

Not any of the movies or shows

Not even this piece

Nothing can prepare you for that first moment alone after something like that

The dread

The weight

The flashbacks

The first time you have sex after

The meal you have with your friend after

The shower

The goddamn mirror

The amount of hate you feel for yourself

 

The amount of disgust you have for humanity because someone doesn’t understand queerness

To be in a relationship, and still have this happen

It felt like karma or something

It just seems to be something that never leaves

The curse of his ravishment

The curse that looms over my head

Like a rain cloud

That never pours

Just lingers

Forever